These leaked passages of the State of the Union read pretty grim. Maybe it's all in the delivery?

— Alex Muniz (@asmuniz) January 12, 2016

"From the wildlife refuge of Burns, Oregon, to the President’s offices at Dartmouth, a black veil of sedition, treason, and rebellion…"

— Alex Muniz (@asmuniz) January 12, 2016

"The wisdom of Goddess Columbia demands that I not countenance to the demands of those who’d rend these States’ binds! "

— Alex Muniz (@asmuniz) January 12, 2016

"Vice President Biden shall chair an emergency War Powers council of Unionist Democrats and Northern Republicans to arrest the scourge… "

— Alex Muniz (@asmuniz) January 12, 2016

"So help us God Almighty, the Eternal, MMXVI." (And then there's a note for him to pronounce the Roman numeral date as M-M-X-V-I). Crazy.

— Alex Muniz (@asmuniz) January 12, 2016