News Item: Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama is attempting to kick his smoking habit.

My Reaction: Is having a jittery and moody candidate really better than having one that smokes?

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News Item: Not long ago, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom was caught having had an affair with the wife of a female aid.

My Reaction: Wait, are you saying the mayor of San Francisco is a straight white guy?!

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News Item: Female astronaut was charged with attempted first degree murder when it was revealed that she planned to kill an acquaintance of another astronaut whom she fancied.

My Reaction: If I recall there are something over 10,000 applicants for every open position as an astronaut. You’d think that they would be able to filter out the donkeysong crazies. I’m sure that somebody somewhere is reading this and saying to themselves “Another woman denying an omega male a shot cause she’s hung up on an alpha male.” If you don’t know what that means, power to you.

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News Item: Evangelist Ted Haggard announces that he is completely heterosexual again after a three-week treatment for sex addiction.

My Reaction: I used to have a really close friend who lost her virginity to the son of a Pentacostal preacher. He had a problem with fidelity. Over and over again, he swore up and down that it was just an aberration and that he was straight. Over and over again, he found himself in compromising situations with other men. Even if Haggard isn’t naturally a homosexual, whatever pushed him in that direction is going to take a lot longer than three weeks to fix.