Once upon a time, the hero of our story, named Will Truman, received a notice in the mail that his cable bill had not been paid. He immediately got online to make an immediate payment. The following is the record of what occurred next. Will our hero be able to give the cable company money for the goods and services that they have provided? Or will Will’s head explode from repetition? Who will give in first? Only those that read on will know!

Comcast: Could I get your username and password, please?

trumwill: trumwill76, ********

Comcast: Alright, what would you like to do today?

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill

Comcast: Okay. To do that you need to set up an account.

trumwill: What? Isn’t that what this is?

Comcast: …

trumwill: Okay, so I need a separate account to pay the bill? Or I need to enable it on my account or… something like that?

Comcast: …

trumwill: Okay, fine

Comcast: Username and password, please

trumwill: trumwill76, ********

Comcast: Okay, how can I help you today?

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill

Comcast: Okay. To do that you need to set up an account.

trumwill: Okay, fine.

Comcast: Please give me your credit card information

trumwill: Visa, ****************, 11/10, 297

Comcast: Okay, what can I do for you today?

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill

Comcast: Okay, I need your username and password

trumwill: trumwill76, ********

Comcast: Excellent. What can I do for you today?

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill

Comcast: Okay, the information we have for you is: Visa, ****************, 11/10, 297. Is this correct?

trumwill: Yes.

Comcast: Okay, what’s your username and password

trumwill: trumwill76, ********

Comcast: Excellent. How can I help you today.

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill

Comcast: Okay, the credit card information we have for you is: Visa, ****************, 11/10, 297. Is this correct?

trumwill: Yes

Comcast: Your current bill for installation and the first two months of service is this $219.63

trumwill: Okay, proceed

Comcast: How much would you like to pay today?

trumwill: How much do I owe again?

Comcast: I do not have that information for you on this particular screen.

trumwill: Can I go back to the previous screen?

Comcast: No.

trumwill: Okay, fine, I’ll just pay $225. I remember it was under that. Let’s go back to the next screen.

Comcast: I’m sorry, we’re going to have to start all over. Could you enter your username and password?

trumwill: trumwill76, ********

Comcast: How can I help you today?

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill

Comcast: Okay, the credit card information we have for you is: Visa, ****************, 11/10, 297. Is this correct?

trumwill: Yes.

Comcast: Okay, how much would you like to pay today?

trumwill: How much do I owe again?

Comcast: Inexplicably, I’m not going to give you that information right now.

trumwill: Fine, I’ll pay $225

Comcast: Are you sure?

trumwill: Yes.

Comcast: Okay, could I get your username and password?

trumwill: Oh, for Pete’s sake

Comcast: That is not your password.

trumwill: trumwill76, ********

Comcast: Okay, what would you like to do today?

trumwill: I’d like to pay my bill.

Comcast: Okay, the credit card information we have for you is: Visa, ****************, 11/10, 297. Is this correct?

trumwill: Yes. Are you going to tell me how much I owe now?

Comcast: No. How much would you like to pay.

trumwill: Sigh. $225.

Comcast: Are you sure?

trumwill: Yes.

Comcast: Excellent. You have made two payments totalling $450 today. Your original balance was $219.63 and now you have a credit of $230.37.

trumwill: You couldn’t have given me this information before my second payment. Or my first before that matter.

Comcast: No need to be rude. Could I have your username and password, please?