News Headline: Bird Poops On President Bush
Clipping: “President George W. Bush was busy praising embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales at a press conference Thursday when a bold sparrow swooped overhead and deposited a present on the commander in chief’s left sleeve. A sign of good luck?”
My Reaction: This isn’t exactly newsworthy, but it’s just one of those interesting things. We had a couple students that got birdbombed back in high school and junior high PE. The bizarre thing is that it never happened to the popular kids. It was already someone that was already an outcast. It was like the birds knew.

News Headline: Second impostor found at Stanford
Clipping: “Stanford University officials, for the second time this week, found themselves Friday dealing with an interloper who has managed to pass herself off as a member of the university community for months.”
My Reaction: Some people are wondering how this could happen, but that’s a pretty silly question. Universities are little towns where people are constantly coming in and out. Someone could have pulled this at Southern Tech for years before anyone found out, though their access to the facilities would have been limited. Seriously, their car (if they had one) would get figured out well before they would. A former bandmate of a friend of mine lived in the equipment room on the Southern Cross University campus for about six months after he graduated.

News Headline: Second impostor found at Stanford
Clipping: “The parent company of the Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s fast food chains sued rival Jack In The Box Inc. on Friday to stop TV ads that it says suggest Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s use cow anus to make Angus beef hamburgers.”
My Reaction: It’s a silly ad and a silly lawsuit. The only thing that I find most notable is that when I was growing up Jack-in-the-Box’s nickname specifically involved the anus. I was going to say something about glass houses, but JitB burgers have improved immensely since then. Maybe it’s more like the reformed outcast being particularly ugly and mean to his former compatriots.

News Headline: Cornishman sleeps after 11 days (but he’s in for a rude awakening)
Clipping: “Mr Wright believed he was battling to beat a record of 264 hours set by American Randy Gardner in 1964, as part of a high school science project into sleep patterns. {…} But before the ban was enforced, there was time for Toimi Soini, of Hamina, Finland, to set a new best of 276 hours recorded in the Guinness Book of Records from 1965 until 1990. ”
My Reaction: This guy is a reckless idiot… but it’s hard not to feel at least a little bit sorry for him.

News Headline: Top medical journal blasts “designer vagina” craze
Clipping: “”Our patients sometimes cited restrictions on lifestyle as reasons for their decision,” they say. “These restrictions included inability to wear tight clothing, go to the beach, take communal showers or ride a bicycle comfortably, or avoidance of some sexual practices.” ”
My Reaction: There are unseemly billboards and radio ads all over Austin on these things. They tend to emphasize the “damage” done down there by childbirth and a plethora of self-esteem issues. They mention almost nothing about actual physical discomfort, so I’m skeptical of that being a central purpose of the procedure.